Weddings, weddings, weddings...

I seem to have arrived at the age where everyone is getting married. In the past few years I have been to weddings in Ireland, in Canada, in Scotland, Chinese weddings, weddings I've been in, weddings I've simply attended, weddings of friends, weddings of family. I've been to more weddings than funerals (which is saying something since the Irish have a long history of bringing children to funerals), and so I've seen a wide array of brides and wedding styles.

On the whole, I'm not that big on weddings, especially religious weddings. The white dress, father walking her down the aisle, giving the bride away - the whole women-as-property aspect of it really just sets my teeth on edge. Especially in the UK and Ireland where the bride never speaks - I find that especially irritating as not only do we have the bride on display with the vestigial indicators of purity and property, but she doesn't get a voice either. Ugh.

But recently, I've been enjoying myself more and more. And I'm not sure if it's because I've been attending the weddings of people I know and love, or if it's just that, well, I'm getting older and as a prof of mine said recently, none of us is bigger than our culture. Sure, weddings might be originally a property transfer sanctioned by the given religious inst

itution, but they are also just great parties celebrating the love of two people, which means even more if you know the people and their history. They are also great reunions - like the wedding I attended in Edinburgh in June. Folks that I knew during my Masters were there, some returning from various parts of Europe just for the occasion. There was a steampunk theme, which could have gone either way but most of the guests had fun with it and so it worked. It was a humanist wedding, another plus, and then the reception was in a pub, and included a ceilidh (pronounced CAY-ley), a Scottish dance.

And the bride made a great, if slightly drunken, speech. We danced, and drank, and ate (delicious) vegan food.

Oh, and the bride wore turquoise.

Would you like a side of crazy with that?

New York has more than its fair share of crazies. In fact on any given day, on my way to the shop, or to university, on the subway or on the street, someone will yell something unusual at me. Usually I can't hear them because I've got my headphones on, but it's obvious when it happens. And I'm sort of used to it. In New York, anyway.

But I'm realizing that Toronto has its fair share of crazies as well. And I'm not just talking about the folks who I serve at the restaurant that I work at, who certainly do their fare share:

"OH so there's chicken already IN the Thai Chicken Salad, is there? I didn't realize!"

"Can we get two waters and split a salad?"

"Could I get a veggie burger, no bun, side salad, no dressing, and a diet coke?" [me (thinking): sorry, this is a restaurant, did you want to order anything with actual CALORIES?]

People seem to be getting crazier and crazier, but today I had an experience that wins the gold medal of crazy. After lunch with a friend, I was walking north on Yonge Street (the main street of Toronto) and there was a small pedestrian detour because of some construction. So there was a sort of 'pedestrian merging' that was happening, when all of a sudden the lady in front of me slowed down and stopped. So I waited for another lady to pass by, and then started walking past her when I noticed that she was saying something, so I took off my headphones to make sure she was ok, only to hear her yelling: "STOP FOLLOWING ME!" At first I was wondering if she was even talking to ME, so I gave her something of a confused look to which she responded, "OH YEAH you people always look so confused when I say this..."

Me: "??? Lady, you are seriously paranoid."

Her: "YES I KNOW, I KNOW!" she continued as I put my headphones back on and continued on my way.

Next time can I get my crazy on the side?

Put it back in your pants, fellas.

I am a single girl, and the past year has been an adventure in dating, both in NYC and in Toronto. I've experienced the horrors of the 'non-talker' (ie guy who can't put two words together or hold up his end of the conversation), the guy(s) who talks with his mouth full, and the guy who, with no regard to body language or sense of social decorum, pounces on you in the street.

But none of these surprises me as much as the guys who whip it out: yes ladies, the guys who bring out their cell phone in the middle of your date. I mean, seriously? Is this what we're doing now? When did this become acceptable? How do you make someone feel interesting and special if you answer every single text you get during a couple of drinks? Has our culture become so ADD that we simply can't help ourselves?

I've even tried pulling out my own cell phone in response, as a joke, but the joke gets lost. Or goes over like a lead... phone.

Word to the wise, guys: keep it in your pants. Seriously.